SS - How old are you?
Red Rocket - In dog years?
SS - Yes
Red Rocket - 54
SS - Why do they call you Red Rocket?
Red Rocket - Here let me show you.
SS - He breaks it out and starts to hump my leg.
SS - GET OFF GET OFF.
Red Rocket - That’s what I’m trying to do.
SS - Have you every tried to have sex with your owner?
Red Rocket – Does her being awake count?
SS – I don’t care!
Red Rocket - No, but I did lick her boob one time when she was sitting on the toilet.
SS - Does it bother you that you can’t wipe your ass after you take a dump?
Red Rocket - NO! I love to lick my ass.
SS - What’s it like to be able to give yourself a blowjob?
Red Rocket - I love it so much that I do it three to four times a day.
SS - Is there any HOT TAIL in your town?
Red Rocket - Yes I fuck the Shitsue down the street at least twice a week. She howls my name during our fuck sessions; “Red Rocket you are so big and hairy”.
SS - Do you like Cats?
Red Rocket - Of course, I love to eat pussy.
SS - Do you squat or lift your leg?
Red Rocket - Squatting is for pussies and I only eat pussy.
SS - Are you Bi-sexual?
Red Rocket - Does my time spent incarcerated in a kennel count?
SS - Yes, were you the bitch?
Red Rocket - None of your bleep bleep business. Don’t make me go pitbull on your ass.
SS - Do you like to be pet?
Red Rocket - He rolls over and barks “go for it”.
Red Rocket - I’m getting annoyed with your questions; I have a boner to pick with you.
Red Rocket - He lefts his leg on me and takes a leak.
SS - Do you like rough rough sex.
Red Rocket - As long as I’m on top I could care less if its rough rough or just rough.
SS – What is your fascination with drinking out of the toilet?
Red Rocket – Don’t knock it until you try it.
SS – Explain the custom of sniffing another dogs butt to say hello?
Red Rocket – What do you expect from us we don’t have opposable thumbs.
Red rocket - That’s enough I’m going to bite your Red Rocket off if you don’t leave me alone.
Well folks you heard it, I certainly do not want to loose my Red Rocket for this Stupid Blog.
SS Agent, out
Monday, December 11, 2006
Chick farts on plane and brings it down.
An American Airlines flight was forced to make an emergency landing Monday morning after a passenger lit a match to disguise the scent of flatulence, authorities said.
The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."
The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.
Now that's Stupid Stuff.
SS Agent, out
The Dallas-bound flight was diverted to Nashville after several passengers reported smelling burning sulfur from the matches, said Lynne Lowrance, spokeswoman for the Nashville International Airport Authority. All 99 passengers and five crew members were taken off and screened while the plane was searched and luggage was screened.
The FBI questioned a passenger who admitted she struck the matches in an attempt to conceal a "body odor," Lowrance said. She had an unspecified medical condition, authorities said.
"It's humorous in a way but you feel sorry for the individual, as well," she said. "It's unusual that someone would go to those measures to cover it up."
The flight took off again, but the woman was not allowed back on the plane. The woman, who was not identified, was not charged in the incident.
Now that's Stupid Stuff.
SS Agent, out
Sunday, December 10, 2006
Interviews
Hey all you stupid stuff fans, let me first apologize for not posting the last two days. The wife has had me busy with her list of stupid stuff to complete for the holidays, enough of that.
Next week I have set-up two interviews. One with a guy lets call him Mr. D, who is pissed off at all of us normal people that got to go on real vacations as kids. His vacations consisted of going to different towns to visit the bars because his dad was a drunk.
The other interview is with a guy lets call is him Mr. J. This guy is a HIGH SPEED LOW DRAG make believe special operator. He thinks he is as bad as a Navy SEAL; I'm here to tell you this guy is a riot.
OK all you Stupid Stuff fans I've got to go before my wife gets in my shit for not finishing my list.
SS AGENT, out
Next week I have set-up two interviews. One with a guy lets call him Mr. D, who is pissed off at all of us normal people that got to go on real vacations as kids. His vacations consisted of going to different towns to visit the bars because his dad was a drunk.
The other interview is with a guy lets call is him Mr. J. This guy is a HIGH SPEED LOW DRAG make believe special operator. He thinks he is as bad as a Navy SEAL; I'm here to tell you this guy is a riot.
OK all you Stupid Stuff fans I've got to go before my wife gets in my shit for not finishing my list.
SS AGENT, out
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Dick Club
This weekend I was traveling with the Dick Club..... What a trip, these guys are the cats meow when it comes to partying. Watch out if the Dick Club comes to your town. The Dick Club is a group of guys who call themselves Richard (Dick for short) while traveling. We travel together often for business purposes, we are 15 strong.
What we do is lay it on thick with whom every will listen to our mission for the evening.
Chicks, mostly high maintenance chicks, we like them the most because they are the funniest to make fun of. Most of them are dingbats and don't know any better, I mean really what are the chances that 15 guys travel around and all have the same name. I want to be very clear that all of the members are married except for two guys so the rest of us live vicariously through them as the night rolls on. These guys have been lucky on each night we been out. Once, even in the back of my rental car while I was driving back to the hotel. It was too dark to really see anything but I sure did hear the panting.
We even get the bands involved with the scam. They welcome us to their bars and towns by calling us out, buying us drinks and help keep the momentum going.
Enough with the Dick Club for now. Are next trip is planned for March I will make sure to post during the trip....
I have decided to request an interview from Mr. K; I will post either the interview or his decline msg, stay tune.
SS, out
What we do is lay it on thick with whom every will listen to our mission for the evening.
Chicks, mostly high maintenance chicks, we like them the most because they are the funniest to make fun of. Most of them are dingbats and don't know any better, I mean really what are the chances that 15 guys travel around and all have the same name. I want to be very clear that all of the members are married except for two guys so the rest of us live vicariously through them as the night rolls on. These guys have been lucky on each night we been out. Once, even in the back of my rental car while I was driving back to the hotel. It was too dark to really see anything but I sure did hear the panting.
We even get the bands involved with the scam. They welcome us to their bars and towns by calling us out, buying us drinks and help keep the momentum going.
Enough with the Dick Club for now. Are next trip is planned for March I will make sure to post during the trip....
I have decided to request an interview from Mr. K; I will post either the interview or his decline msg, stay tune.
SS, out
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Day in the Life of Stupid Stuff
Today I ran into a guy lets call him Mr. K, he reminds me of a retro porn star like Ron Jeromy or John Holmes. He has a mullet, yes a mullet. He wears the opposite of all his peers to work; Work boots, Jeans with paint stains, and a Tee shirt of some rock concert he attended. Don't get me wrong Mr. K is a cool dude, but every time I see him retro porn music starts to play in my head. This guy will even let you fart in his truck, that's cool. Every time I go to lunch with this guy he has to be dropped off at the front door of the office because everything he eats turns into instant shit. I'm hear to tell you this guy is a chick magnet, they maybe trailer chicks but they are chicks none the less. It must be the mullet because any guy who has the balls to wear a mullet has to be hung like a horse. Enough with Mr. K I have to save some for tomorrow.
I just got back from vacation in Moab, UT. I was enjoying one of the Arches and heard someone coming down the trail. As I turned around I see this guy and girl coming up to my location. The guy was wearing shorts, no shirt and boots. You say so what! The chick however was wearing a bikini top and bottom with hiking boots and a web belt holding her canteen. As she walks by my wife notices that she is wearing a THONG, yesssss. My wife directs me immediately to take a picture of her. I will post the pic tomorrow. My Son who is 17 was freaking out that I was going to embarrass him. I have to omit that I wanted to say something to the guy or at least give him the thumbs up and yell SWEET or SWING. Unfortunately the rest of trip was uneventful to this level, except for each time I started to talk with some guy along the way and showed him the pics. I highly recommend Moab UT. for a vacation. The Europeans love this place and I'm sure you know they like to wear as little as possible.
A friend showed me a video today that was sick and very funny all at the same time, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpnoij_PrIY
SS, out
I just got back from vacation in Moab, UT. I was enjoying one of the Arches and heard someone coming down the trail. As I turned around I see this guy and girl coming up to my location. The guy was wearing shorts, no shirt and boots. You say so what! The chick however was wearing a bikini top and bottom with hiking boots and a web belt holding her canteen. As she walks by my wife notices that she is wearing a THONG, yesssss. My wife directs me immediately to take a picture of her. I will post the pic tomorrow. My Son who is 17 was freaking out that I was going to embarrass him. I have to omit that I wanted to say something to the guy or at least give him the thumbs up and yell SWEET or SWING. Unfortunately the rest of trip was uneventful to this level, except for each time I started to talk with some guy along the way and showed him the pics. I highly recommend Moab UT. for a vacation. The Europeans love this place and I'm sure you know they like to wear as little as possible.
A friend showed me a video today that was sick and very funny all at the same time, check it out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jpnoij_PrIY
SS, out
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